My grandpa had been sick for the past few weeks. I could tell from the short amount of time that I spent in his house, that he was not the same energetic man I saw last summer. He no longer went out every morning at 7AM to eat dimsum, nor did he go out on his nightly walks after dinner. Instead, he spent a lot of time sitting on the couch. Every time I woke up, he would be on that couch as my aunt paced nervously nearby with no TV on or music playing to kill the silence. At night when I came back from dinner with other relatives, there he would be again, as if he hadn’t moved all day. It was truly depressing, and I couldn’t handle it. Most days, I stayed in my aunt’s room using my laptop or reading my Kindle, because being out in the living room honestly sucked the energy out of me

Last night, I got back to my grandpa’s place and he was already in bed. Like the other days, I took a shower, then went into the room to use the laptop. That night, I decided to watch Don Jon before going to sleep. Around 1AM I went to bed.

Suddenly, I was awoken by much commotion outside. I heard my aunt and uncle speaking loudly, and my aunt began moving around the house a bit hastily, yet clumsily. I was half asleep, and very confused, and assumed it was already 6AM or so which meant my aunt and uncle were getting ready for the new day. Just to be sure, I checked the time on my phone and realized it was 3:11 AM. Still half asleep, I was suddenly annoyed. One of my biggest pet peeves is being woken up when I am asleep. I angrily got out of bed to turn off the bedroom light because my aunt had forgotten to do so. Seconds later, she comes bursting through the door, turns the lights back on, and proceeds to rummage through the closet for her purse. Still not fully awake, I became more annoyed because of all the noise. Then, it hit me. Why were my relatives up at such an odd hour? Immediately I began to feel guilty for being angry. Something had to be wrong with my grandpa for them to be up at that time.

The next morning, I found out that my suspicions were true. My grandpa had passed away that night. The rest of my day was honestly a bit frightening. The first thing we did was go see my grandpa one last time. I was the only grandchild that went, and mostly, I went for my mom. She is still in California and obviously would not be able to see him, so I went for her. When I realized I would have to do this, I was so nervous. All morning, I mentally prepared myself for it because I did not know what to expect. I mean, how many 20 year olds can say that they have seen a few dead bodies during their lifetime?  When it finally came time to see him, I was calm. It was not as bad as I thought it would be.

A part of me is really sad, shocked, and frightened that my grandpa passed away in the room right next to me while I was asleep. The other part of me is happy that I at least got to see him and be so close to him for the last few days while he was still alive. My only regret is not spending more time at the house to hang out with him. I know he would not have wanted to do much, but I feel like I should have at least been there to sit with him. Oh well, enough with the regrets. I know that he is in a better place now. He has been suffering quite a bit for the last few days, and I’m happy that he is no longer in pain. RIP grandpa, I’ll miss you.



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