Category Archives: Thoughts

When Laziness Works In Your Favor

You read things on the news and learn about all the horrible shit that is going on around the world. You read about it, and go about your day as you normally would. Out of sight, out of mind. You never expect things to happen to you and when it does, you almost have no idea how to react.

This morning I lagged getting out of bed, perusing Facebook as I laid under the comfort of my blankets. Thirty minutes later than planned, I finally dragged myself out of bed and got ready for my day. As I was just about to head out the door, my half asleep roommate says, “There’s a shooting on campus” before casually taking her dog outside for a pee. I stood there a little confused about the situation, contemplating whether I should just go to campus anyway. I remember thinking, how serious could it really be?

I don’t think the gravity of the situation really hit us until we started getting more and more updates, and more and more worried friends / family texting us to see if we were okay. We found a live KTLA feed of our campus and saw footage of our campus swarming with police cars and SWAT vehicles filled with armed officers. None of it seemed real to us.

I’m glad that I am okay and all of my friends are okay. I’m glad that it wasn’t a mass killing as many of us feared when rumors rapidly began to spread about how there were 4 shooters in all the different parts of campus or how the shooters were spotted running from Kerckhoff to Bunche, etc. But, people really need to watch what they say in situations like this. Like seriously, how the fuck did those rumors start and where did people get that information? It really screws with people and that isn’t okay.

This incident also made me realize two things.

Firstly, unexpected things can happen anywhere at anytime, but that doesn’t mean that we should live in fear, especially not in the fear of dying or any other terrible thing that the news teaches you to be afraid of. Even in times like this, I want to trust humanity a little, especially as I witnessed the other side of things during this tough time, the side where fellow Bruins, friends, and family united with one another and made sure everyone was okay. Heck, we even housed a few random students from my roommate’s class for a few hours because they were too scared to walk home. Life is too unpredictable to waste it living in fear. Be adventurous and satiate whatever curiosities you have, even if they scare you a little. Obviously don’t be dumb about it and throw yourself into stupid situations, but just take the necessary precautions and go for it.

Secondly, I was reminded of the amazing people I have surrounded myself with over the years. To all the people that took the time to text me to make sure I was okay, thank you. During such a scary situation, you don’t know how comforting it was to receive messages from ya’ll  letting me know that you were thinking about me and here for me with whatever I need. I love you all and truly appreciate having you all in my life.

Anyways, the timing of today’s situation was absolutely crazy. If I would have left my apartment at the time I had planned to, I would have gotten on campus just as all the craziness started. I don’t even know what I would have done or where I would have gone. I guess I have my morning laziness and my warm, comfortable bed to thank for helping me avoid that situation. #TYlaziness&warmbed

And on that note, I’m out. My bed + Netflix awaits. ✌🏽

 

 

“If music is the color of life, then I wonder what my palette looks like”

Graduation is just around the corner. In exactly 4 weeks and 4 days, I will be walking across the stage, accepting my “diploma”, that empty folder of a thing that represents the completion of my undergraduate degree.

With that thought in mind, I’ve been trying hard to spend as much time with my friends as possible. However the sad reality is that a majority of these friends I am making time for, those people who were such important parts of these last 4 years of my life, are probably not going to be of such importance post-graduation. I used to let this get me down a lot, and it still does, but my friends have helped me wrap my head around this situation by putting it into perspectives that I have never thought about.

One of my best friends compares friendships as running a hostel (lol) where different people come, go, and stay for different periods of time. Some come back, but some never will, and that’s okay. For him, he will always be there running that hostel, welcoming returnees with open arms if they decide to come back. For me, that has always been an issue. When someone decides to walk out, I tend to close those doors and not want to let them back in. Maybe it’s a pride thing? I don’t know. But from his point of view, why not let these individuals back in? Life happens. Sometimes it just doesn’t permit some friendships from lasting. If some people do decide to wander back and “put in their fair share of work in the hostel” why not let them stay?

Another close friend of mine shared that many of his friends never know where they stand with him because he tends to keep his emotions to himself. I am exactly the same. Just like him, I wondered if people I hope and want to keep in touch with after graduation actually know and feel the same way. While he was at a music festival and high off life and music (among other things, haha) he decided to express his feelings to one of his friends, telling his friend that he really appreciated their friendship and no matter where he ended up after graduation, he really wanted to keep that friend in his life. He realized that he just needed to do the simple thing that we often forget; share how he felt to the people he felt those feelings for. Let them know because if you feel that strongly about them, they most likely feel the same.

Anyways, /endrantaboutfriendships. I am truly grateful for everyone that has stumbled into my life in the last four years. Whether big or small, ya’ll have played a role in my college experience and if that is the end of the road for us, I’m learning to accept that. If not, feel free to step back into my hostel some time. I’ll keep them doors open with some tea, cookies, and good stories to share.

Random side note: If you were wondering about the title, it has nothing to do with the post. I just thought it was an extremely interesting way to use color as a metaphor for music that a friend shared with me today. It makes you think, doesn’t it?

Norms

 

Tonight, I had a spontaneous trip to a local diner and caught up with a friend I haven’t hung out with in awhile. He took me to a diner that his dad had introduced him to and naturally, right as we sat down, I pulled out my phone and checked Yelp to see its ratings. Immediately, I passed judgements on the diner when I saw that it only had 3 stars. When my apple pie and ice cream came though, it was absolutely delicious and I loved every bite of it.

Isn’t it interesting how influential technology is on our behaviors and perspectives? If it were not for my friend (and my friend’s dad) I would have never, in my whole life, stepped foot into that diner because of its low Yelp rating. My friend and I discussed how our millennial generation is so focused on eating the “best” the “newest” restaurants out there. I am totally guilty of that, as I am someone who basically never tries new restaurants below 4 stars. According to my friend, the older generation (or his dad’s generation) is more focused on just going to a place with their group of friends as a hang out spot, almost like a meet up place with food being secondary. I know this is only generalizing, but I definitely see  this trend existing. Of course there are usually reasonable reasons why restaurants have the ratings that they do (especially the 1 or 2 star ones), but the positive experience I had at this three star diner is just something to think about.

Anyways, that was just a little side thing that I wanted to share. I’ve been trying to write some sort of blog post for the past few days now, and have been so stuck. I think this will be my way of easing back into things. Oh, and if you ever want to check out a 24/7 diner in West LA, go to Norms. It has three stars, but it is delicious. Well, at least their apple pie, ice cream, and ice cream floats were.

 

Changes

It’s crazy to think that I will be graduating from UCLA in about 4 months. Just like your typical soon-to-be college graduate without a full-time job lined up at some Big 4 company, I’m at a loss, just hoping everything will fall into place.

From my conversations with my fellow peers, everyone seems to be having the same worries and anxieties centered around post-graduate plans. Among everyone’s mind is the job search and finding that perfect job. My question is, how crucial is that first job after graduation? Is finding that perfect job possible, especially when most of us come out not even knowing what we really want in the first place?

The older generations are always telling me and my peers to just explore and have fun while we are young, but it is so hard to do! I think all of us are freaked out about fucking up no matter how much the other people try to convince us otherwise. It’s starting to sink in for me though. I may be starting the rest of my life, but I shouldn’t be worried about making the wrong decision. I should just follow my gut. Life is so unpredictable that we can’t really think or plan that far ahead.

There is a pretty big probability that I am going to be abroad when I graduate and I think (hope) that’s where I’m supposed to go. The thought of it both freaks me the fuck out, yet fills me with excitement. I guess that isn’t such a bad thing though? I think it’s going to help me grow a lot and it is for sure going to push me out of my comfort zone. It’s going to be tough. For the first time ever, I am going to be moving to a foreign place without the crutch of friends and family to lean back on. I will have to make a conscious effort to form relationships and bonds with people because most likely, I will know absolutely no one in the new city that is going to be my home for at least a year.

I am thinking ahead though. Right now, I don’t have anything solid. If anything, I could be bummin’ after I graduate because I am still jobless. It’s such an exciting, yet terrifying time to be alive right now. People say that your 20’s is when you really start learning about yourself, and I could not agree more. Hello 2016. I have a feeling you are going to bring many interesting life changes and new milestones my way, and I am ready for you.

Oh yeah, here’s an attempt to resurrect my dying blog. Let’s see how well I keep this up (:

Stream of thoughts

I am finding it harder and harder to concentrate on school this quarter. I think that I am just anticipating the next 6 months of my life waaaaaaay too much and I can’t bring myself to concentrate on much else. I was officially accepted into my study abroad program at Fudan today! Everything is becoming more and more real. I bought my plane ticket to Hong Kong, I have filed all my paperwork for both my job and my study abroad, and now I am just waiting to receive my admission’s packet from Fudan and my TA handbook for CTY.

Real talk though, I want to aim for straight A’s this quarter. It is a little iffy because Econ41 seems fucking terrible, but if I put enough effort I JUST might be able to do it. It is so weird going from taking 4 classes to 3. Although, I do work 3 times as many hours, so I guess I actually have less free time than I did last quarter.

I am a little disappointed that I haven’t had many crazy adventures this quarter, besides first week.That needs to change.

Next year, I neeeed to go to Coachella. Shit.

And lastly, please let me find a subletter for the Fall. This is too damn stressful.

 

Winter Quarter 2014 & Random Updates

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Damn, this quarter passed by like a blur. I can honestly say though, this has been the best quarter thus far. Winter 2014 was both filled with immense stress and loads of fun. I’d say that it was the first time I had a perfect balance of both.Did I do a little too much drinking? Yes. Do I regret it? Nahhhh. When it came down to it, I got my shit done. 4 midterms in 1 week, 4 finals in the span of 5 days, no problem. Did I stress the fuck out? You bet I did, but when test day came, I always came around to calming my nerves down. I figured out my stress cycle too. I stress about a week before shit hits the fan, but it chills out the closer I get to the stressful situation. The day of my last two finals (Pic and Econ which are also my two hardest) I was relatively relaxed. Hell, I went for a workout instead of cram studying hours before my finals. I think that works best for me. Working out always makes me feel better.

What else can I say about this quarter… well, I got a lot closer to my floormates! All those late nights chillen & studying in the lounge together has its perks. I know I’m going to miss em all when we move to apartments next year. It is going to be awesome feelin’ like a grownup, but there is nothing quite like walking out of your dorm room and being able to walk 2 feet to knock on a floormate’s door when you are bored.

Guess whose working in Hong Kong this summer?! THIS GIRL! Yup, I got the TA position in Hong Kong and I am so fucking excited. It is going to be one crazy 6 months of my life as I go from working in Hong Kong to studying abroad in Shanghai. Just thinking of all the experiences I am going to have excites me. These next few months are going to be life changing, and I honestly cannot wait.

Reflecting

It was about a week ago when I finally moved back into my second home at UCLA. I was excited to be back, but also a little reluctant because I did not want to deal with the responsibilities that going back to school gave me. I really did not want to think about having to plan out my future, figuring out how I would get involved at school, and all those things I would have to do if I wanted to one day be “successful”. All that scared me, and at times, I wish that I were back in the good o’ easy days of high school. I really knew my place there. I was the varsity basketball player, the 4.0 student, the scholar athlete… Those days were simple. Now, at a school with thousands of other varsity athletes that were also valedictorians, I feel extremely small.

It has been a year UCLA now and even though I love it and am extremely grateful that I attend such an amazing school, I still have those same yearnings for a sense of purpose. I need to discover or rediscover the things I am passionate about and pursue those interests because only then will I be truly satisfied with myself.